I just looked and my birth control pills run out in two months. I do not want to be taking synthetic hormones but I do not want kids (obviously). Other contraceptions do not have quite the guarantee pills do and I am not ready to take that risk. For which part of my health? If I keep taking them I increase my risk for female cancers, does not help my MS, does not help my journey to a less-chemical existence. Yet, if I stop taking them I would be constantly worried about getting pregnant, wondering if I am pregnant, I cannot trust my husband to take care of contraception (I tried that and that is the main reason I am married today), not wanting to have sex because of the risk. If I ended up pregnant, I don’t even want to think about where that would lead me. Down a path I have been trying my entire life to stay off of-the path of commoners. The path of everyone else. I have fought to stay away from it but look where I am now-not happily married, in a house that is a hole, with responsibilities up the a**, not enough money, a disease and basically in the same sinking boat as 99% of the people out there.
I am off to escape with wine and Austin Powers.
When did my life become so ordinarily awful?