A letter to my Yoga Mat

(yes, I had it logo’ed!)

Yoga Mat

My faithful friend of 10+ years

Almost daily visited

We had a courtship/dating phase:
I learned from other teachers
When I first started on the yoga mat

I could barely touch my knees

Reaching aggressively for my toes

Forcing & striving

Mind wandering with each asana

There only for the workout

Feel the burn

At the end

Twitching & itching in corpse

But, for a brief moment

A wash of peace

Sometimes tears

Rolled up my mat

Feeling lighter somehow

Unexpected peace

Then a serious relationship formed

I taught classes, numerous classes

When I was first asked to teach

I thought, sure, why not?

Never in a small way

I went all out

Teaching up to 10 classes per week

Mostly gyms

Teaching & doing

No adjustments (for students)

My own style grown into

Focus on fitness

Spirit left behind

Striving Stretching

Burnt out

Rarely challenged

Mind busy with the next move

Reminding students

To reach

To relax

To Breath

Started to smile

To feel

To enjoy

Too many classes

Never feeling good enough

No home practice,

No yoga just for me

Struggle

Gradually quit

Felt like a part of me was dying

If I am not a yoga teacher

WHO AM I?!
And now,
My mat is there, patiently waiting for me to return
I see it briefly, infrequently
A few breaths in a couple of poses
Center
Struggling to be ok with the bit that I do get
What about the hours a day I used to do?
I could do all of the poses well, gracefully
Now, I am tight in different places
Weaker in others
My arms are for holding a babe now
Not for holding plank
My spine cries out for attention
I try to incorporate yoga into my everyday now
Reminding myself to
Just Breathe
Notice what my body feels
A change
Growth
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